Nobody wants to be that guy who’s in it for himself and doesn’t care for what his partner wants when it is time to be intimate in the bedroom.
As a doctor and pleasure enthusiast, I speak from experience when I say that women want to be satisfied sexually.
It’s been one of the keys to how my husband has kept me totally content in our marriage of over 20 years.
There are obviously some spillover effects from satisfying your woman that are selfish:
Studies show it’s likely you’ll have more sex the more satisfied she is.
Besides that, though, it really is worthwhile to satisfy your woman sexually the same way you try to satisfy her emotionally.
Sex is an important part of any relationship, period.
1) Ask Her What She Likes & Listen During Sex
This first tip is something I’ve mentioned time and time again on my website, which, in case you’re wondering, can be found over at DoctorClimax.com.
The simplest tip of all is to simply ask her what kind of sexual encounter she’d like to have.
Depending on what she says, do your best to give that to her.
However, good sex is very dynamic and shouldn’t follow a script.
While you’re getting hot and heavy, do everything in your power to gauge her reactions to the things you do.
And give her more of the things that she responds positively to.
Always be innovating and trying new things, discarding anything that isn’t getting a “positive review.”
2) Work To Create An Environment She’s Comfortable In
The brain has a lot more to do with good sex than the genitals do… no matter how strange that might seem.
If your woman is holding back or there’s something bothering her, she won’t be able to fully commit to the matter at hand.
This starts with you ensuring that your hygiene is up to date (so you aren’t just a big unwashed body of nasty trying to rub up against her).
Besides that, ensuring that she trusts you and that the way you spend time together is one of comfort and ease is paramount to satisfying sexual encounters.
The little things count here:
A well-made bed…
Ensuring she’s had enough food/drink to relax…
And in general thinking about her needs that aren’t directly connected to sex.
3) Make Her Feel Desired
Any woman wants to be having sex with someone who they feel truly wants them–not just someone who’s happy to have a warm body of any kind nearby.
Do everything in your power to make her feel like the sexiest girl in the world, and that there’s nobody else you’d rather be sharing your body with.
If you know she’s insecure about certain parts of her body, try to be curious about it & appreciative of that aspect of her.
Make her anxieties about any part of her body wash away by giving them some tender love and care.
Also, do your best to lose yourself in the scenario so it seems like you’re ravenous for her.
If you pay attention and show appreciation, she's less likely to think you're just “going through the motions.”
4) Don’t Skip The Foreplay
Women need foreplay much more than men for a completely satisfying time in bed.
Think of her journey to orgasm like the beginning of a rollercoaster.
It needs to start off small, but it is very clear where things are going to go by the end of it all.
Make sure to use your fingers and tongue to great effect.
The clitoris is highly sensitive and many women say that they can’t reach orgasm if there’s no clitoral stimulation whatsoever.
And here's something most guys forget:
Foreplay can be a lot more than what happens directly before sex..
For instance, if you tease her sexually all day with the understanding that sex is on the horizon, she’ll be waiting in anticipation…
… and all of that bottled up tension will be ready to burst at a moment’s notice. 😉
5) Understand Sexual Push-And-Pull
Men are much simpler to bring to orgasm to women.
You can blame evolution for that.
Once a man achieves an erection, it’s pretty much a straight shot to orgasm so long as there’s some kind of stimulation at hand.
With women, the whole experience has a lot more ups and downs.
What I mean by this is that there are times where you should be giving it your all… but other times when it helps to slow things down and keep things on the sensual side.
For women, sex is something to be enjoyed over a period of time–not something that should be done and over with before she can even get fully committed.
Focus on her level of pleasure, and do as much as you can to do what works for her specifically.
A lot of confusion on your end can be solved with some simple questions.
Don’t be afraid to ask candidly what she thinks of certain aspects of your lovemaking technique.
From there, use what she says & what she does to actually refine your technique into the most ideal technique for her.
All women are different… so just because many women you’ve been with before like it a certain way, it doesn’t mean the woman you’re with right now does.
So long as you stay mindful and work as a team, you can easily give her the best orgasms she's ever had–and ever will have–simply by trying out different techniques, and figuring out what she likes best.
Here's what I mean:
Keep scrolling to discover what she really wants in bed…
Secret Move Number 6: Discovering Her Favorite Kind Of Orgasm…
Here’s something that few guys realize… even to this day:
There are different types or kinds of orgasms women can have!
It’s true–depending on the “spot” you hit inside a woman… she can have a “Good”…”Better”… or “BEST” orgasm!
Now… with that being said, not all women are the same.
For some women the first kind of orgasms–mentioned on this list–could drive her absolutely NUTS… while the other two are just pretty good.
So you can’t always tell which kind of orgasms would work best for which woman.
But as a woman I’ll tell you this… I can almost guarantee most guys don’t know about all three, and haven’t tried all three…
… and she’ll appreciate you for the rest of her life for taking time to explore and discover the best way to give her pleasure.
Want to have mega-hot, mind-blowing sex more often?
Or have you ever wondered what gets a hot girl so turned on, that she drops down to her knees and practically begs you for sex…?
Maybe you want to go from being “great” in bed… to becoming a freaking “sex god”?
Well, I have the answer, and it all boils down to one word:
Foreplay!!!
Hi, I’m Alexis Fawx.
You may know me from some of my videos & movies like The Preacher’s Daughter, or more recently, Lesbian Massage 3… I’m an adult actress, and I’ve been in the industry since 2010.
And today, I'm going to show you why great foreplay is the most effective, easiest way to give a girl maximum pleasure before (and during) sex… and keep her coming back to you for more & more.
(Because after all, research shows 77% of women say foreplay is “very important” for a good sexual experience!)
So just follow these 5 simple steps, and you'll be a “sex god” in no time (although I'm sure you're great in bed already). 😉
How & Why Can Great Foreplay Make Sex Better?
When guys hear me say that foreplay is the key to great sex, they tend to get a little skeptical.
But the truth is… women often take longer to get turned on than men do.
And so if you don't give her enough foreplay, then she might not be ready to start having sex when you are.
This isn't a bad thing–it just means that sometimes, you have to get creative!
Foreplay can be a rough makeout session…
Oral sex…
Teasing her body with your tongue…
Anything that isn't sex, but feels sexual for her–that's the foundation for great foreplay.
And trust me, when a girl is in bed with a guy who's great at foreplay…
Then chances are she'll not only be more enthusiastic in bed (and more likely to try the things you want)… but she'll also be more excited to please you in return. 😉
So how do you make sure the foreplay is unforgettable? I’m glad you asked…
1) Start In This Counterintuitive Spot…
A lot of guys like to go straight for the goodies below the belt to get a girl turned on.
But for me and a lot of other women I know, we absolutely love when a guy starts off at the top.
Personally, I want a guy to kiss me, then trail down to my neck and clavicle. (I love my clavicle being kissed and lightly sucked.)
So when you're in bed with a woman, don't be afraid to nibble her a little. Worship her, even! Make her feel like you're eating her alive.
Trail your lips all the way down her body, and spend some time kissing her stomach too.
Don't ever go straight for the vagina first-thing (unless it's a quickie type of situation of course–and even then, there are exceptions!).
A lot of what makes great sex so great is the emotion you add into it. So when you spend more time on other parts of her body, you show her that you desire her in a way that few men have probably ever shown her before.
And trust me, that's going to have her begging you for more and more after you satisfy her the first time. 😉
2) Continue To Tease Her
Once you make your way down toward her vagina, there's still more teasing & tantalizing you can do!
You can lick the inside of her thighs and kiss around her clitoris–most women go absolutely crazy for this.
Kiss her pubic bone too–don't forget that. When guys do this to me, it drives me freaking wild!
The reason this kind of foreplay gives her so much pleasure is because you're making her wait before you enter her.
And when you make her wait like this, she's going to get wetter, and she'll also want it more.
Ultimately, this gives both you and the woman you're with more pleasure–it's a win-win.
3) Respond To Her Body’s Signals
Even though there are some surefire foreplay moves that work on most women… it's still true that no two girls are exactly alike.
And sometimes, a woman is in the mood to be touched softly and delicately–but other times she wants it rough.
So in order to figure out what a specific woman is into, it's important to pay attention to the signals her body is giving you.
Is she moaning a lot when you lightly kiss her neck? Or do her hips buck up when you kiss her pubic bone?
If so, then those are two signs she's enjoying what you're doing.
Try biting her lip a little bit to see if she likes it rough–if she responds well to that, you can escalate (but remember, take it slow!).
Which brings me to my next great tip for orgasmic foreplay…
4) Ask Questions Like THIS…
One of the easiest ways to figure out what a woman likes in bed–and also a great way to satisfy her during sex–is to ask her what she likes.
But it doesn't have to be some clinical conversation!
You can even do this as a kind of “dirty talk”–start with a simple question:
“Do you want it harder?”
If she moans or says “Yeah,” then you'll know she wants it.
And if she's silent, that's not necessarily a bad thing–just slow down a little.
Then gently nibble her on the neck and ask, “Do you like when I do that?”
Of course, you can always ask her to show you how she likes it.
Speaking from personal experience, this can be SUPER hot for both you and her. 😉
5) Explore Her Kinks (Most Women Have at Least One)…
Finally, one of the best ways to really spice up your foreplay, and satisfy hot girls in bed… is to get a little kinky with her!
Honestly, there's just so much to explore during foreplay, and a lot of guys don't even bother trying.
So if you even try to experiment, chances are she'll love it (and want more of it too).
Take me, for instance.
I had no idea I could actually enjoy a guy suckling on my toe until I experienced it a few times. Now I crave it.
But where do you even start?
You could try something you've always wanted to do, or you could start with a little simple spanking (but don't be too rough at first).
Just make sure to always pay attention to her responses–with kinky stuff, that's the most important part.
And by the time you start doing that, chances are she'll be begging you to enter her…
So when you're ready to start having sex, here's how to make sure you fully satisfy her, and keep her coming back for more & more:
The Best Orgasm I’ve EVER Had…
So I was at this shoot a few weeks ago… it was a classic:
The trouble was… the actor playing my step-son wasn’t super big “down there.”
(And most of the time, I can only have real orgasms on-set when the guy is at least 7 inches.)
I knew that this was a shoot where I HAD to have a real orgasm… so I figured I’d just have him give me oral until I came.
But the director insisted that he had to f**k me.
So 20 minutes later, there I was… naked in bed with my “step-son,” praying to the orgasm gods for a miracle…
… and then something crazy happened:
When he entered me, it felt pretty much as I expected… but a few seconds later, it started to feel really good… like, “I’m gonna have an orgasm SOON” good…
… and then it happened. I came. Hard.
I had no idea an orgasm could sneak up on me like that!! It was AMAZING.
So after the shoot, I had a little chat with my “step-son,” to find out what he did that made me orgasm so fast and hard…
Oral sex is a highly intimate sexual activity that involves one partner using their mouth to stimulate the other partner’s genitals. Although this increasingly popular sexual behavior is often performed as a form of foreplay, it can also be done without the intent to continue towards penetrative sexual activity. It is important to remember that communication is always key during any sexual encounter, and talking beforehand about what each partner is comfortable with will ensure a more pleasurable experience for all involved.
Because oral sex is a highly intimate experience, make sure that you are ready and willing to explore or be explored in this way. Do not allow someone to pressure you into oral sex by using lines such as “It’s not real sex, you will still be a virgin,” “If you are not going to have sex with me then you should at least go down on me,” or “You got me aroused, you can’t leave me hanging, you owe me this.” If you are happy and comfortable with your partner, then oral sex can be a great way to be intimate and learn about each other’s turn-ons.1 It is normal to feel nervous when giving or receiving oral sex for the first time, or when engaging in oral sex with a new partner, but over time and with practice, you will feel more confident and you will learn what feels good to you and to your partner.
Cunnilingus
Mouth-to-vulva stimulation is called cunnilingus, also referred to as “eating out.” The partner uses their tongue and mouth to stimulate the clitoris and surrounding areas of the vulva, including the mons, the vaginal opening, and the inner and outer lips. Licking and sucking these areas provides pleasurable stimulation. It is a good idea to begin by exploring the receiving female’s body, especially her upper thighs and the area around her vulva, by lightly kissing, licking, or sucking, to get her aroused. As she becomes more aroused, it is helpful to focus primarily on the clitoris to bring her to orgasm. However, many females enjoy being simultaneously penetrated, either by fingers or a sex toy. The clitoris is the most sensitive area of the vulva, containing more than 8,000 nerve endings.1 To find the clitoris, gently part the outer lips of the vulva, and look for the vaginal opening. The hooded clitoris will be just above it.1 Start off by softly licking her vulva with slow caresses using a relaxed tongue, and work your way up to faster thrusts with a firmer, pointed tongue. It is important to be aware of how the receiving partner reacts to changes in speed and pressure and to adjust the technique in response to these reactions. Do not hesitate to talk to your partner and ask her what she likes and wants. For the receiver, it can be helpful to give clear positive affirmations such as “I like when you do this” or “Yes, keep doing that with your tongue,” to let the giving partner know that what they are doing is being enjoyed. Phrases such as “Please slow down” or “I would really like it if you try [blank] instead” can be equally as helpful for the giving partner.
It can also be pleasurable to use your fingers, as well as your mouth, to stimulate her. For example, insert one or two fingers into the vagina, or use your fingers to stimulate the clitoris and surrounding areas. Many females find that cunnilingus is the only way they can orgasm with a partner. Others, however, are not comfortable with this type of sexual activity. It is essential to know what your partner’s comfort level is and to communicate before attempting to engage in this sexual behavior. It is also wise to use dental dams when performing cunnilingus to reduce the risk of contracting Sexually Transmitted Infections (STIs), which may be transmitted through vaginal fluids.
Common Sex Positions for Females Receiving Cunnilingus
The Classic
In this position, you are able to lie back with your knees bent, and enjoy the pleasure that you are about to receive. Find a comfortable position and experiment with different configurations to make this position the most pleasurable for you and your partner. Try opening and closing your legs, moving your knees up and down, or moving your hips, and see what works best for you. Placing a pillow or two under your hips will help elevate your pelvis and make your vulva more accessible to your partner’s mouth and fingers. If you are comfortable doing so, remove the covers so your partner can breathe and see you better. This way, you can also enjoy watching what your partner is doing, which can be a turn-on for both of you. Increase the intimacy even more by making eye contact with your partner as they pleasure you. By putting your feet down, you will be able to have more control by moving your hips to help guide your partner’s tongue to your most sensitive areas. An alternative way to position your legs is to wrap them around your partner’s shoulders. If this is comfortable for you, then it is a very good way to communicate your enthusiasm and excitement to your partner, which is extremely sexy.2 Both verbal and nonverbal communication can be used as a turn-on and as a tool to encourage the giving partner. Some examples of nonverbal positive reinforcement include moaning and moving your body, which helps the giver know what they are doing right. Sometimes, though, it can be helpful to use your words to explicitly communicate things to your partner. For example, a partner’s noise or movement may be misunderstood, which could lead to the cessation of a positive encounter, or the continuation of a negative encounter. Clearly vocalizing your emotions and feelings to your partner can lead to an overall positive sexual experience.
Tip for the giver: While she is lying on her back, keep her knees wide. This gives you more of an opening to work with and helps with the sensation.3 Gently pulling the labia apart and pulling upwards on the mons can help to expose the clitoris and stimulate the nerve endings in the labia.
Queening (aka facesitting)
This position allows the receiving female to take control of her pleasure. Let your partner lie down and kneel over their faces. The receiving female on top can be facing either direction (see image for an illustration of one direction, but try out both and see what you like!). Moving up and down controls how much they can reach your vulva, and moving your hips back and forth or side-to-side can help intensify your pleasure.2
Tip for the receiver: While hovering above your partner, extend your arms forward to use a wall, the floor, the bed, or other surroundings as support. This will take some of the weight distribution away from your legs and could be more comfortable.
Doggy Style
This position involves you getting on all fours and allowing your partner to stimulate you from behind. Doggy style allows for easy access to other sensitive areas, such as the anus, for fingering or analingus. In the position, the vulva may be a bit more closed, which can provide the opportunity for a different kind of stimulation, and less direct clitoral stimulation.
Recline
In this position, you can sit on the edge of a chair, bed, countertop, desk, etc. and invite your partner to kneel or stand in front of you to perform oral sex. If the giver is kneeling on a hard surface, placing a pillow underneath the knees may provide additional comfort.
Fellatio
Oral stimulation of a male’s genitals is called fellatio, but is more commonly referred to as a “blowjob” or “head.” A male can receive oral without having an erection yet. It is often used as a way to bring the male partner to an erection. The male’s partner stimulates him by licking and sucking on his penis and sometimes the testicles. The glans, frenulum, corona, and penile shaft are highly sensitive. The penis is said to contain about 4,000 nerve endings, and the foreskin, if the male is uncircumcised, is said to contain about 20,000 nerve endings.4 Fellatio usually involves putting the penis into the mouth and moving in an in and out motion, starting gently, and working up to a faster pace. Teeth can cause a great deal of pain and discomfort, so the lips should be the main source of pressure on the penis. As the male gets more aroused, his partner can move the penis deeper into the throat or speed up the pace of the in and out motion. If his partner is not comfortable moving the penis further into the mouth, they may place their hands around the base of the penis and move their hands up and down simultaneously with their mouths.
Giving or receiving fellatio has the potential to be both a safe and rewarding sexual experience. You should discuss your concerns and preferences prior to engaging in fellatio, and you and your partner should feel comfortable talking with each other during oral sex if a problem happens to arise. Common problems that occur during fellatio include (but are not limited to) harming the penis with one’s teeth, a male partner forcing his penis too deeply into his partner’s throat/mouth, or a male partner ejaculating into the other partner’s mouth without warning.
Upon reaching orgasm a male can either withdraw his penis from his partner’s mouth or ejaculate into it. If the latter occurs, the partner decides to either swallow the ejaculate or spit it out. If the man withdraws his penis from his partner’s mouth, his partner can continue to stimulate the glans and the shaft of the penis from the side with either their hands or mouth. Both partners can then decide where the receiving partner will ejaculate. Some have a towel or tissues handy to catch the ejaculated semen. Others allow their partner to ejaculate on their body. Ejaculation on the face is known as a facial and must be performed carefully and with full consent to avoid causing pain to the eyes. A female may switch to stimulation with the breasts once her partner is close to ejaculating. Again, it is extremely important to talk to your partner beforehand and have a plan for what to do when the male orgasms. It may even be wise to reaffirm the decision soon before ejaculation occurs. If pregnancy is a concern, it is important to ejaculate away from a female’s vulva to prevent pregnancy.
Any of the options for ejaculation are perfectly acceptable. Make sure that you are comfortable with whichever choice you make, and that you communicate freely with your partner during the experience. Also, it is absolutely okay to change your mind at any point, and you should not feel forced to swallow your partner’s semen if you are not comfortable doing so, even if you previously agreed to it.
Beyond personal preferences, if you are planning to participate in fellatio, you should be aware that oral sex allows for the transmission of sexually transmitted infections (STIs). Proper barrier methods, such as condoms, should be used to prevent this. We recommend that all partners get tested for STIs prior to engaging in any sexual activity, especially if it is unprotected so that when you do engage in sexual activity you are aware of the risks and use proper protection.
Common Positions for Males Receiving Fellatio
The Classic
In this position, the receiving male gets to lie back, relax, and enjoy the pleasure that he is receiving. This position allows the giver to control the depth and speed of penetration.2
Tip for the giver: For an added bonus, try sucking on an ice cube or taking a sip of cold water before going down on your partner. Changing the temperature of your mouth can create a new and fun sensation.
Standing
This position involves the receiver standing and the giver sitting or kneeling in front of them. Here, the giver’s hands are free to focus on pleasuring their partner. Using the hands simultaneously with the mouth allows for stimulation of the entire penis while taking some pressure off the giver to take the entire length of the shaft into their mouth.
Deep-throating can be performed in any of the suggested positions above. If you are comfortable with your abilities and trust your partner, you can try an advanced position, which allows for the receiving partner to control the thrusting. In this position, one partner lies down on the bed with their head hanging off the edge, and the male inserts his penis into their mouth. In this position, as well as any of the others, it is recommended to decide on a hand signal before beginning that signals the thruster to stop and remove the penis.
Deep-throating is a sexual technique that requires the giver to suppress their gag reflex in order to partially swallow the entire length of the penis. Deep-throating, which is considered a skill by many individuals, requires muscle control and a very willing partner. If you have never tried this technique, or if you have tried it and found that you have a sensitive gag reflex (feeling like you are going to vomit), then we suggest you practice on toys that are safe for sex before you try this with your partner.
Slowly and carefully slide the head and shaft of the penis into your mouth, as far down as you feel comfortable with. You can slowly practice by gradually working your way down until you can fit the entire penis into your mouth. Keep in mind that even with practice, deep-throating is not for everyone. Make sure to communicate with your partner to let them know not to force or thrust while you are performing this act, as it can cause you to gag and even vomit.
Simultaneous Stimulation – 69
These oral-genital sexual activities can be performed simultaneously. The term for this sexual behavior is sixty-nining. Partners may lay either side by side or one on top of the other with their mouths facing the other’s genitals. In this position, they are able to perform oral sex on each other at the same time. Once again, communication is key. It’s essential that each person knows what their partner’s comfort level is, and communicating can help each person learn what their partner likes.
Analingus
Although oral sex refers to cunnilingus and fellatio, the tongue can be used to stimulate other areas of the body as well. Sexual play regarding the anus, such as penetrative anal sex and oral-anal stimulation known as analingus, has historically been a very taboo topic and has generally been associated with homosexuality. However, in the recent past, it has come to society’s attention that many heterosexual couples are experimenting with anal play and embracing the new sensations that they are discovering. Anal play is not for everyone, as it requires lots of communication and preparation, such as copious amounts of lubrication and total relaxation, in order for the experience to be satisfying. Analingus has become increasingly popular as a way for all sorts of couples to stimulate each other. Analingus can be very pleasurable due to the sensitive nerve endings concentrated around the anus. Just because a person enjoys having their anus stimulated does not mean that they are homosexual or have coprophilia, a sexual fetish associated with feces.
Analingus is commonly referred to as rimming, salad tossing, eating ass, or butt-eating.
Tips for Great Analingus
1. Be Clean
Take a shower and clean your anus and the surrounding area with soap and water.
2. Never Double Dip
Do not ever put anything that has been in or on your anus into your vagina without washing it first. You can transfer bacteria and micro-organisms from your anus and rectum to your vagina and urethra, which can cause infections because the vagina and urethra are very sensitive to changes and require a very precise balance of bacteria to remain healthy. Use a new condom each time you switch orifices, and remember to use plenty of lubricant. Unlike the vagina, the anus has no ability to produce a natural lubricant. Inserting a penis, finger, or sex toy into the anus without using generous amounts of lubrication can easily cause small tears or fissures in the anal opening and in the rectum. This can cause considerable pain and damage to the receiving partner.
The small tears in the delicate anal tissue are open pathways for the transmission of STIs, including HIV (human immunodeficiency virus). HIV is the virus that causes AIDS (acquired immunodeficiency syndrome), a life threatening condition. Even if lubrication is used, very small tears in the anal and rectal tissue can still occur, which is why it is very important to always wear a condom when engaging in anal intercourse. The risks that anal sex pose to one’s health are very serious, so being educated and taking precautions during anal play is extremely important.
3. Use Your Breath
Blow warm air onto the anus and around it for gentle stimulation and teasing.
4. Use Your Tongue
A relaxed tongue is useful for flicking and rubbing the general area, while a stiffened tongue can be used to penetrate, probe, tap, and trace the anal rim.5
5. Use Your Lips
Kiss and suck on the anus and surrounding areas, such as the thighs, buttocks, and lower back.5
6. Use Your Hands
Pull apart the butt-cheeks to have easier access to the anus, and try reaching around to fondle the front genitals.
Butt plugs, anal beads, dildos, and penises can be inserted into the rectum to help stimulate the male prostate or intensify female pelvic orgasms.5 Make sure that any toys that you use are made specifically for anal play. Many butt plugs have a wider base to ensure that the toy does not become stuck in the rectum, which may cause considerable pain and frustration, and can require a doctor’s visit for removal.
Additional Ways to Stimulate a Partner Using One’s Mouth
There are many erotic areas other than the genitals on the human body. The level of erotic sensitivity of a particular body part depends largely on the amount of nerve endings that are located in that region. Licking, kissing, and caressing different parts of the body with the tongue and lips can be a huge turn on for some people. The thighs, feet, neck, ears, and chest all contain an enormous number of nerve endings, so it can really pay off to focus on those areas in addition to the genitals. Exploring each other’s entire bodies can make for an extremely intimate experience.
