Hey, Guys! Here's How To Text To Turn Her On - Use This Script*

You can thank me later!
When you are away from your woman, even when you both are at work, why not spin her some devious erotic stories and text them to her—slowly—one hot juicy morsel after another? Tease her with timing! Here is an example of just such a story written recently by a hot literotica writer I know.  (Hot Tip:  Leave lots of time between each text. Make her crazy)
Hey Baby.....
Just thinking about you....
'What sensitive spot of your luscious body craves some attention today?'
(From Angel: I don't know about you but if my man texted this to me in the middle of my work day, I would be melting on the spot!)
That spot that makes you tremble when my lips get close.
That makes you moan and giggle out loud when I tease you by getting close,
lingering by...


...and then retreating and repeating.
What spot makes you grab my head as I brush by your delicious morsel of flesh softly, slowly and accidentally?
Whose lips and tongue raise goose bumps on your inner thighs?
Who makes you pant with desire? (Click here if you love to be teased.)
Where is the epicenter of your anatomy which, when I finally envelop it with my mouth...
...sucking softly, rhythmically matching the upward thrust of your hips...
...makes your fingertips tingle, your eyelids flutter and a moan escape your lips.
What warm piece of you thrills as I suck you in my mouth, tasting you with my tongue?
Who loves it as blood rushes to your taut nipples, raises the hair in the small of your back and unleashes a torrent of honey?
That is the part of you I want to visit.
I can't wait to get my hands on you.


IMPORTANT TIP:  Guys, only use this script once you have already had sex with your woman.  This is way too intimate for a first time encounter.  But once you two are into erotic play, there is something very hot about the wait between messages! You can learn to be a master of erotica and romancing and have some real fun! Good luck. (More Great Sex Tips, Check This Video)

Why You Should Never, Ever, EVER Fake An Orgasm

 
Ultimately, the only one getting faked out is you.
It's 11 p.m. You've had the most hectic day imaginable (kids + chores + appointments + errands = total mom exhaustion). Your man, on the other hand, is feeling frisky and wants a major sex session. You don't mind compromising a bit, but as far as you're concerned, Orgasmland might as well be in Timbuktu, because it's going to take you hours to get there.
Is it okay if you, er, fudge a little in order to move things along? Dr. Jane Greer, a marriage and family therapist in New York City and host of the radio show "Doctor On Call," examines the issue:
"Women commonly fake orgasm because they don't want to wound their partners' egos," Jane Greer notes. "That said, there are no 'pros' to faking it. If you fake it, ultimately the only one getting faked out is you."


"It really damages your sexual self-worth; eventually, you'll start to think that you can't have an orgasm, and you'll wind up feeling like something's wrong with you. The crux is, it's important for you as a woman to be able to exhibit a range of sexual responsiveness that doesn't reflect on your man. It's important for you to be true to yourself!"?? If he's in the mood for a long sex session and you're not..."
1. Be honest. "In this day and age, women need to be authentic with their sexuality," Greer says. "They need to be able to tell their partners, 'I'm really exhausted. I may not be able to come.' That will keep your orgasm—or his inability to give you one—from becoming a huge issue. In a weird way, that honesty will give you the freedom to have orgasms more often in the long run."
2. Compromise. "It is absolutely okay if one of you gets off and the other doesn't, as long as that's not happening all the time," Greer says. "So tell your guy, 'I'm not in the mood, but go ahead!' You never know: His sexual appetite just might ignite your own. And once the pressure's off, you might very well find that you're suddenly relaxed enough to come."

3. Be giving. "Instead of faking it, offer to please him," Greer advises. "Say something like, 'I'll get you off,' or 'I'll talk to you while you get yourself off,' or whatever. That's called being giving. It's about sharing and caring."

7 Surprising Benefits Of Self-Love

"Don't knock masturbation. It's sex with someone I love." - Woody Allen
As Woody Allen famously said, "Don't knock masturbation. It's sex with someone I love." And considering that up to 95 percent of men and 89 to 92 percent of women masturbate, it's probably safe to say that no one really needs much convincing to keep doing it. But if you'd like a hand giving yourself a hand, here's something to get you started:
1. Masturbation helps you sleep. That's because getting handsy with yourself lowers blood pressure and produces endorphins, the chemicals responsible for helping ease stress and increase relaxation.
2. Masturbation relieves cramps. Flying solo during that time of the month increases blood flow to the pelvic area, easing pain. The intensity of orgasm can also help — and it sure beats a hot water bottle.


3. Masturbation prevents prostate cancer. Toxins build up in the urogenital tract, leading to disease—but masturbation flushes those toxins out of the body, making men who ejaculate more than five times a week a third less likely to develop prostate cancer.
4. Masturbation alleviates urinary tract infections. Once you're tired of drinking all that cranberry juice, turn to the other cure for UTIs: masturbation. It helps flush out old bacteria from the cervix, giving UTI sufferers some much-needed relief.
5. Masturbation might relieve Restless Leg Syndrome symptoms. Researchers estimate that 10 percent of people suffer from RLS, a neurological disorder categorized by a constant urge to move the limbs, often causing leg pain, cramps, tingling, and itching. But there might be help in sight—a letter published in the medical journal Sleep Medicine reported on a patient who used sex and masturbation to relieve symptoms of RLS.
6. Masturbation boosts your immunity. Ejaculation releases the hormone cortisol. It's a stress hormone, but in small doses, it can help strengthen and maintain your immune system.


7. Masturbation makes sex better. Practice makes perfect, as the saying goes. "Sex therapists strongly recommend that women who have not had an orgasm begin by pleasuring themselves," according to registered sex therapist Judith Golden. "This puts them in touch with the genital pleasure that they like."This article was originally published .

7 Legitimately CRAZY Lies You Believe About Sex, Porn And Your Hymen

Don't believe the hype.
Though we've made great strides in the field of sex research and have become more open to discussing the subject as a society, certain aspects of human sexuality remain taboo. We believe the lies we hear from others as we grow up, and cling to these untruths for reasons we can't fathom.
To that end, we've assembled seven lies about sex that are prevalent in our culture, and that frankly make us laugh a little.
1. Women don't respond to porn.
For a lot of women, the majority of porn might not be our favorite thing, but that doesn't mean we don't have a response. Dr. Lindsey Doe reported that one-third of women have admitted to watching porn, and experienced a positive physical response.


2. Sex will always hurt for the woman the first time.
Depending on the extent to which a woman relaxes and is aroused, and the skill of her partner, there's no reason sex has to hurt, and certainly not to the extent that certain literature, media and old wives' tales would lead us to believe.
3. Sex is the equivalent of love.
Sometimes sex is just sex. Though the release of certain chemicals in the brain causes people to bond more intensely, it's important to remember that sex isn't the only thing to base a relationship on. You also have to factor in compatibility, stability, emotional intimacy, and a million other things to enter into a loving relationship.
4. Hymens can "rip."
Simple untrue. The hymen can actually take many forms, and unless a woman is born with an imperforate hymen (with no opening, requiring small surgical intervention) the hymen will stretch, but not rip during normal intercourse. Depending on the elasticity of the membrane, it can return to its original condition over time.


5. All women bleed when they lose their virginity.
While for some women this is true (and varies in intensity from woman to woman), it isn't a guarantee for everyone. In fact, in a 1998 study by Dr. Sara Patterson-Brown, published in the British Medical Journal, 63 percent of women questioned reported not bleeding their first time.
6. Men and women peak at the same time.
Though everyone's sexuality develops at different rates,men hit their testosterone peak around 18 and women around 28. That's not to say that you can't have fantastic, fulfilling sex all through your life; that comes down to your bond with your partner. In this case, we're only discussing hormones, not your ability to create an intimate, charged connection.


7. Only attractive people have hot sex.
Now this one is just ridiculous. As long as you're attracted to your partner and engage in consensual, mutually satisfactory sex, you're going to have a good time.

This Is The Only Sex Toy That EVER Gave Me A G-Spot Orgasm

This vibrator actually sent me flying across the bed.
Seriously. I went from one corner to the opposite corner. I even have video proof.
We all know I am a fan of G-Spot stimulation, but so far the results of my G-spot vibrators have been "mediocre to decent" ... until now. This one is pretty spectacular.
The Basics
The Lovehoney Desire Luxury USD Rechargeable G-Spot Vibrator (that will now be referred to as LH Desire G-Spot Vibrator) is made out of silky-smooth silicone. It is very firm; there is no "give" to the material. It is completely waterproof and able to be submerged in water.


It is 8.25 inches long with an insertable length of 5.5 inches. The circumference is 5 inches with the base diameter being 1.75 inches. It has a mildly curved body with a G-Spot targeting tip.



There are three buttons: higher, lower and change of pattern. It contains a dual motor, which makes unique patterns. There are 12 different intensities with 8 vibration patterns possible on each level. The buttons light up when you press them for easy navigation. It requires 120 minutes to charge and can provide up to 60 minutes of battery life.
The motors are smooth, rumbly, powerful and complement each other really well. Weirdly, the default setting is not the lowest intensity — it is smack in the middle, so you have six options to increase and six options to decrease. It does (thankfully) have a travel lock mode.


The Packaging
The box itself is sleek and almost true-to-size, with the image only slightly smaller than the real thing. The LH Desire G-Spot Vibrator comes with a lockable carrying case, a USB charging cord and an instruction manual. The carrying case is classically simple and only recognizable if you know the Lovehoney logo. It is a fairly large package so it would take up space in your baggage, but there is enough room for some extra toys.
The Bed Leaping
Yes, you did read that correctly. This toy actually made my body leap across the bed. We just happened to be recording ourselves, so we managed to get video evidence of this, which was really hot to re-watch together.
When we first unwrapped the toy, I was a little surprised at the size and firmness. I was skeptical that it would work for me, both in terms of fitting comfortably inside of me and also stimulating my G-spot with vibrations. We cleaned it, charged it and then were shocked when we turned it on.
Holy hell it was powerful! It is definitely our most powerful toy of the moment (we currently do not own any wands). The rumble of the motors, and the weight and sturdiness of the toy were all really enticing. Just a warning: the material is so silky soft that you’ll want spend time caressing it.


The vibrations are really powerful for my body, so initially it was unpleasant and we had to use the lowest setting. For this reason, I personally find it inconvenient that the vibrations start off at the middle setting, but I got used to this fairly quickly.
Once it started targeting my G-spot, I felt the need for more power. Just by turning up the intensity I ended up orgasming so hard my body moved across the bed. It was impressive, to say the least. Andy was baffled and just stared at me in total awe.
This, unfortunately, has not been a repeat occurrence but my orgasms have still been intense. I have realized that the high settings are too distracting for my body and that I require a softer and more prolonged build up with a lower vibration setting. The patterns are fun to use, which is not something I typically say about patterns. I have found a setting that I really appreciate that alternates perfectly between the motors.
The G-spot vibrations are incredibly intense, so I find myself being careful with vibes on my clitoris. Too weak and they are overpowered by my G-spot vibe, but too strong and my body is overwhelmed. I’ve managed to find the perfect balance, but you might need a little trial-and-error.

•Anal: There is no flared base so it is not intended for anal use and is incompatible with a harness.
•Lube: As with all silicone toys, you should avoid silicone lube. We have recently been using Hathor Sutil, which is water-based.
•Waterproof: Makes cleaning so easy! Also perfect for bathtub rumbles, although this was not tested (not really my thing, sorry!).
Conclusion
Damn, this toy is good. Lovehoney has really thought of everything: silicone, USB rechargeable, dual motors, G-spot tip, waterproof and travel-safe. Everything. There is nothing that we dislike about that toy. Once you get used to controlling the different intensities and patterns, the LH Desire G-Spot Vibrator is basically flawless.

4 Things I Learned About My VAGINA When I Had A G-Spot Orgasm

My clitoris is no longer the center of attention.
No one really told me what a G-spot was. At summer camp, I learned that you can use your finger to give yourself pleasure, but I didn't really understand how. Sticking my finger up there just didn't really do anything for me.
So at age 10, I decided that I wasn't going to penetrate myself for pleasure.
Then I heard about this majestic clitoris — supposedly the ONE thing you need to learn about. Do you know where your clit is? Does your partner know where it is? Do they know what to do with it? If you aren't orgasming, then they're doing something wrong and you need to work harder at stimulating your clit. Can you get from A to Z with your tongue? Unfortunately yes, because at Z, I still haven't orgasmed.


Here I am, having already ruled out penetrative masturbation, and the world was telling me that the clit was the answer — except my clit WASN'T the answer. Yes, I came close to orgasming, but in the end nothing happened. No screams, no shakes, no squirts — just a whole lot of frustration.
I had kind of resigned to the fact that I would never orgasm and this was almost a decade after that failed masturbation lesson at summer camp.
That is, until I read about the G-spot. Did someone really just say that the clit isn't the end-all of pleasure? You mean that there is something else I can try? What happened next is pretty obvious; it involves finding myself alone in my bed. It involves a very, very happy ending.

 
The moment I searched around for my G-spot I knew that this new information would make a difference. It didn't happen on the first attempt, but I just knew that this was going to be my answer. My clit was no longer the center of attention; it would have to share the spotlight with my G-spot.
I have what people call a "mixed orgasm": I require both clitoral and G-spot stimulation in order to cum. Some people can orgasm from clitoral stimulation alone, while others (although seemingly rarer) can orgasm from G-spot stimulation alone.
Many people have mixed orgasms, and if you haven't tried it yet, I would recommend adding an extra dimension to your masturbation session.
Since learning how to pleasure myself, I have been able to orgasm from clitoral stimulation alone, but I much prefer when it's mixed. For me, it feels stronger and deeper, like my whole body is being launched into space. I recently learned how to squirt, too, which is all about the G-spot stimulation.


1. I've learned that my vagina is picky, but that's OK.

I can't orgasm easily, but I have found ways that make it pleasurable for me. I have found ways to make it work. I have learned that my G-spot is what really sends me over the edge.
2. I much prefer using a sex toy to hit the right spot. My fingers get tried!


There are so many available toys out there and I've learned that as long as it can rub against my G-spot, I'm a very happy lady. I just wish someone had told me sooner that rubbing my clit harder or faster or in bigger circles or in zig zag lines or whatever worked for someone else might not work for me.
3. Everyone receives pleasure differently.
I learned that I wasn't broken, but that I just hadn't found the right combination yet. I learned that there's a lack of pleasure-based information available for women. I learned that more people need to discover the G-spot. More people need to talk about it.
If you're comfortable with penetration, then go Google where your G-spot is and try to find it. Take some time alone, grab a toy and some lube or just use your fingers and try to find out where it is. It might not be pleasurable for you, and that's OK.
However, finding my G-spot changed my sex life completely. You know what I've learned about my vagina?
4. The clitoris isn't always going to work.
But I also have a G-spot, a U-spot, an A-spot, a PS-spot and so many more ways to find pleasure. Everyone enjoys different things, but the trick is to explore until you find out what works for you.

How To Experience A Mindgasm That Rivals Your Most INTENSE Orgasms

"Look ma, no hands!" Yes, it is possible to think your way to orgasm with simple meditation.
It is possible to bring yourself to a powerful orgasm while sitting absolutely still with no movement, physical stimulation, or friction whatsoever. Many women have testified to having the ability to produce a full-on “mindgasm” during meditation or a self-hypnosis type of technique. It is a matter of having focused intention, good muscle control and rhythmic deep breathing.
The best way to understand how a woman can "think herself to orgasm" is how stage hypnotists can give women instant orgasms with the power of suggestion.
Mark Cunningham, a well-known hypnotist says, “The key is, there is a part inside a woman’s mind that is capable of infinite positive pleasurable response. It is always active, so you aren’t actually going into her mind and making her have an orgasm. You are unlocking, unleashing and directing that which already exists. But you have to know how to access the subconscious mind.” Hypnosis is the fastest way to access the subconscious mind.


This stress-reducing self-hypnosis method will reveal how the concept of a “mindgasm” is possible. The overall breathing meditation is beneficial to practice several times a day, whenever you have a few minutes to spare.
It is a terrific way to relieve anxiety and mental tension, as it can be done while sitting at your work desk, waiting at a traffic light, in the restroom, or anywhere at all that you can dedicate some time to just be still and relax with this deep breathing technique.
Follow this guided meditation to help you relax, reduce stress and release mental barriers, and learn to achieve a “mindgasm.” You need to let go of all thoughts and just allow yourself to be fully present with the physical sensations without distractions. With a little practice, you can bring yourself to a powerful pleasure-filled orgasm right there in your office chair without anyone around you even knowing.
Here's how:


1. Sit upright either in a chair, on a couch, bed, or the floor.
Your forearms can rest on your thighs with your hands facing up in a receptive relaxed position. Close your eyes and relax. Extend the top of your head upward, toward the ceiling — lengthening the spine. Bring your shoulders back and down, allowing your chest to open up. Straighten the spine, extending the crown of your head to rise up even higher.
2. Becoming very comfortable in this posture, remain still and quiet focusing only on your rhythmic breathing.
Take deep breaths slowly through the nose, filling your abdomen more so than your chest. Allow your belly to completely fill up expanding your entire torso. Gently release the breath, slowly out through the nose, contracting your abdomen to totally empty out all of the air, releasing tension and resistance with each exhale.


3. Just practice deep breathing for a minute or two, letting everything else go.
The mind will become clearer as thoughts will fade with every breath. Slow the breathing and focus only on the physical sensations of the air moving in and out through the nose, feeling the belly expand and contract.
4. Inhale and exhale slowly and deliberately.
Continue with this same rhythmic deep breathing throughout this exercise. As you continue to slowly breathe in and out, bring your attention to your genital area. When you inhale and expand your belly, also push out with your entire genital area as if you’re bearing down.


As you exhale, contract all of your pelvic muscles as you squeeze all of the air out of your belly. Continue to expand and contract as in a slow intense kegel exercise. Slow the breath even more and deeply intensify the muscle contractions as much as you can.
As you practice this method of cleansing the mind and body through deep powerful breathing, we can tap into that place in our mind that is capable of infinite pleasure. It is always active and easy to access. We have the ability to unlock the mystery, unleash the power and potential of what already exists. When we simply intend the feeling of orgasm, then it is right there in our mind as we direct the cells and nerves to generate the physical sensations.
5. Continue to breathe deeply, expanding and contracting your pelvic muscles, intensifying the contractions with every exhale.
You’ll begin to feel a tingle in the clitoral area as you direct focused energy and intention to increase sensitivity with every contraction. As you tighten and release, blood flows in and out of each blood vessel, stimulating the nerve fibers and producing powerful feelings of ecstasy and intense pleasure.


You are not trying to do anything. You’re simply allowing the blissful sensations to be present as your natural state of being. Your awareness is expansive, still breathing deeply, contracting and releasing, push out and pulling in the pelvic muscles, and allowing the energy to pulsate throughout the genital area.
This may take several minutes or well beyond 10 or 20 minutes to begin feeling the physical sensations associated with orgasm. It may also take numerous attempts, so continue to practice this extraordinary ancient Kama Sutra technique.
Bring the meditation into your lovemaking to better regulate the intensity of your orgasms and enjoy multiple waves of immense gratification. It may also be helpful to apply a few drops of stimulation gel onto your clitoris before you begin, as it can help increase blood flow and sensitivity. The tingly warm sensation helps you focus your attention on directing energy throughout your genital area.
Also, the more often you practice this exercise, the better over-all muscle control you will have, as well as developing a tighter vagina, which most men seem to prefer. It can significantly help with the process of childbirth and maintaining a healthy reproductive system.

Women: STOP Faking Orgasms, You're Ruining It For The Rest Of Us

If a man can't handle being told what gets you off, he's not the right person to be having sex with.
"What are you doing?" he asked.
"What do you mean? Isn't it obvious what I'm doing?"
I was trying to maneuver us into the Cat position, and he was mystified.
Apparently, all the other women he'd been with had stupendous, earth-shaking orgasms just from the insertion of his Mighty Mighty Penis. And while this is certainly possible for me, why wouldn't I want to have a different kind of orgasm, or three or seven?

Women don't have sex to have orgasms. Unlike men, we don't need that climax to feel complete. We have sex for all the other amazing feelings it elicits, but achieving orgasm is not always the be-all and end-all.
EXCEPT ME. Hell yes, I want to have an orgasm! And If I don't, I get pissed off.
All these other spine-tingling feelings are, well... spine-tingling, but if I don't climax, my vagina turns into a wildebeest and howls at the moon.
The reason why so many men are inept when it comes to making a woman climax is that too many women just fake it. I have no idea why. That's like going into a restaurant, ordering a fabulous meal, and then walking out, rubbing your stomach and saying, "Wow, that sure was delicious," and you didn't eat anything.
Many women don't want to explain to their partners what they need to have an orgasm. Maybe they feel like they need to present their orgasm to a man as proof of his prowess, to finesse his dainty ego. That's ridiculous. Women are all so different, a good lover understands there will be a learning curve involved.


If a man can't handle being told what gets you off, he's not the right person to be having sex with. Period, end of story. Buh bye.
Some women start to feel bad if it's taking too long. Don't. Are you double-parked? There is no "too long." This isn't a task that needs to be rushed through, like turning all the hangers in your closet in the same direction.
(OK, if you have little kids, all bets are off. Then it's every man/woman for himself until someone walks in. In this situation, I found that wedging a Hitachi Magic Wand in between the ex and me sped up the whole orgasm process. It was magic, aside from my kid wondering why we were using a chainsaw in the house.)
We are all so different, not just in terms of sexual preference, but anatomically. Some women really have difficulty reaching climaxes through intercourse alone, which may be because their G-spots are small or more difficult to locate. Some women just prefer clitoral orgasms, whether they know where their G-spot is or not.


Tomato, To-mah-to. Whatever kind of orgasm it is, it's irrelevant as long as it makes your whole body shake and your toes curl.
Also, the female hormones released in middle age (40 plus) increase a woman's sex drive. No, this is not an urban myth. Yes, we get more sexual and orgasmic as we get older. It's a beautiful thing. Vaginal orgasms only became an item on my sexual menu after I hit 40.


Men, please know how to kiss. If you attempt to unhinge your jaw while flopping your tongue down my esophagus like a fish out of water, it's not a good sign that you are responsive to my needs. I love the sounds of sex, but not the wet "flpflpflpflpflpflp" sound of your tongue slapping against the roof of my mouth.
If you like music to set a mood, then find something that's going to play awhile without interruption. Never leave an iPod on shuffle. Woman don't get quite as excited about the Pokémon theme song as you might imagine. And we would prefer you not have a heart attack because you're trying to keep up to "Trapped Under Ice" by Metallica. It's hella awkward if you die on top of us.
Women's lady parts are nature's Rubik's Cube. You're going to have to invest a little time into figuring out what works for each woman. This is where the whole "faking it" thing is the Destroyer of Climaxes.
Men, be willing to try anything. There's a whole world of sexual positions. Change it up. Be adventurous. Try the Flaming Amazon (set her pubes on fire), the Blanche Devereaux (sex while watching a Golden Girls marathon), the Texas Rodeo (mount her from behind like a wrestling hold, whisper in her ear, "This is how your sister likes it," then try to stay on for eight seconds).


If you're telling a man what you like, and he says, "It's not sexy when women talk in bed," find a way to get out of there, fast. Fake your own death if you have to. This is the same man who will squeeze your tits like a pair of bike horns. He doesn't want you to explain anything. He thinks he can "read your signals" because you yelped and jerked out of his vice-like grip while he gave your breasts one-handed Indian burns.
Women of Earth, please stop faking it. If you fake your orgasms, he's never going to learn anything. You are ruining him for all the women who come (or don't) after you.


And men, if your woman tells you, "The only way I can climax is for you to drive me to New York, escort me to the top of the Empire State Building and hum the Star Wars theme while you play with my butt," your immediate response should be, "Let me get my keys."
Wasn't that a movie? "Sleepless In an Imperial Starship," starring Tom Hanks?

Emojibator: I Stuck The Vibrating Eggplant Emoji Up My Vag And..

It's an eggplant AND it's a vibrator. But can it actually get you off?
The mighty eggplant. Once known primarily for the deliciousness that is eggplant parm, the eggplant is now known for a being the universal symbol for a penis. Nothing like a few eggplant emojis and some water drops to get the sexting party started, amirite? I don't know about you but I can never look at another eggplant parm the same again.
Having said that, I have never had the desire to stick this giant purple vegetable in my vag. But then again, I had never seen the Emojibator before.
Quite literally it's a vibrator shaped like the eggplant emoji. I'm never one to turn down a free vibrator (or free anything for that matter), so when our lovely editor suggested that I try one out courtesy of the good folks at Emojibator, I immediately said yes.
When the package (I'm giggling as I write this, and yes I'm that simple) arrived, I eagerly tore it open if for nothing else than to see what this thing actually looked like in person. I'm not going to lie, I was surprised. It was... smaller than I thought. Shorter and thinner. In case you're wondering, it's approximately 5 inches. (Or 4.88 x 1.22 to be exact.)
Unless, of course, the vibe in question is not phallic-shaped (like the Crave or the Limon) and is as more about rocking your clitoris's world, then size doesn't matter. But if it's meant to be inserted? Well, call me kooks but I don't get the point of a small one.
Now, there's nothing wrong with penises of all shapes and sizes. But penises are not the same as vibrators. For one thing, they're not attached to humans. A human man comes with other endearing qualities that, when taken as a whole, far surpass the size of his dong.
A human can do all sorts of other things to knock your socks off. Vibrators, on the other hand, do not possess such qualities or abilities. And as far as I know, you can't date them. Hence, I expect vibrators to be on the larger side. Besides, I'm American, damnit! I expect everything to be big — from French fries to cars to Santa Claus.


If I decide to indulge in my once a year pilgrimage to Cheesecake Factory, I'm not getting the low carb kind. I want the salted caramel. So I want my vibrators somewhere in the range of Tommy Lee to Jon Hamm size.
Anywhoozle (as my friend Amy Schumer likes to say), enough about penis size and cheesecake.

I turned on my Emojibator and wasn't sure what to do. Most vibrators have all kinds of technological advances aimed at treating your clitoris like the Queen Bee she is. But not the Emojibator. It was literally just a vibrating eggplant.
It wasn't big enough to hit the elusive G-spot and it didn't offer any sort of specific clitoral stimulation. So like the time I encountered a penis the width of a soda can, I thought, "What on earth do I do with this?" (P.S. Try getting something like that in your mouth. You basically need to be have a detachable jaw. No thank you.)
I carried on with my experiment in the hopes that I would get something out of it. I turned my little eggplant on to the first setting and let it do its thing. Except, it wasn't actually doing anything. Don't get me wrong; it was vibrating... I just wasn't feeling it.
There's a reason clitoral stimulator parts of a vibrator are small. The Emojibator was too big to actually get properly in there, yet too small to use inside. I felt like the Goldilocks of vibrators: I tried experimenting with the other settings (it has ten) but to no avail.
I sort of fiddled around with it in the way that I might fiddle around with a new hand mixer. Several minutes later, when I realized I had started to think about what I had to buy from the grocery store later than day, I realized the jig was up. Nobody was coming or going in this situation.
I sighed, giving up and shoving it in a drawer. Emojibator, I deduced, was best suited for things like gag gifts, bachelorette parties, vibrator novices, and secret Santas. (In SUPER-casual offices, of course.)
If you work in corporate America, I'd highly advise not getting this for your secret Santa. But I'll give Emojibator this: he's really cute.




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How To Give Her All Three (YES, THREE!) Types Of Multiple Orgasms

Keep her coming all night long!
Stringing together a series of intense multiple orgasms that keep your woman coming all night long is one of the most entertaining and empowering ways to make her sexually addicted to you.
But if you don’t know the 3 different types of multiples women can have, or when to give them to her, it’s not going to happen.
Here’s what I mean.
A lot of women think they can’t have multiples. Why? Because once she has an orgasm, her "O zone" gets EXTREMELY sensitive and the slightest touch will make her jump out of her skin.
If your girl believes she can’t have multiples, and she thinks you’re trying to give them to her, her subconscious brain will team up with her body and work together to keep it from happening. Conniving, I know.


So how do you make it happen in spite of this cruel, pleasure denying conspiracy? Use these 3 orgasms techniques:
1. Different Types of Multiples
Let’s say you just finished using your favorite fingering technique to give her a glorious g-spot orgasm that sent her out of orbit… but you’re just getting warmed up. You still want to make her come some more, you stud.
Remember, her g-spot is incredibly sensitive and delicate right now so if you start stimulating it right away, she wouldn’t be able to handle it. Instead, let her g-spot "come down" and give her a clitoral orgasm.


Tell her how sexy she looks after she comes and start slowly licking her entire vulva from the bottom to the top. Make sure you lightly graze her clit at the end of each lick.
Gradually increase the pressure you apply on her clit until she’s aching for direct clitoral stimulation. Now you can give her a clitoral orgasm with your mouth while her g-spot is recovering.
You could do this with your fingers but goddamn, she just looks so delicious after having an orgasm, doesn’t she?
By the time she has a clitoral orgasm, her g-spot will be fully recuperated and purring for another O. When you get to the 3rd and 4th orgasms, you’ll notice they get a lot stronger AND, they also take a lot less time to happen.


Keep going and you’ll notice that she starts coming before her last orgasm is completely done. This is where her orgasms start to blend together and she loses count of how many she has.
Instead, the entire experience seems like one never ending orgasm that just keeps going up and down in intensity like a rollercoaster of bliss and ecstasy.
2. Multiples of The Same Type
Now if you want to give her multiples during penetration, here’s how to do it.
Remember, once she comes, she’s going to feel extremely sensitive so make sure you TAKE YOUR TIME with this one. The trick is that once she comes, stop, but DO NOT pull out! Stay deep inside her, but stop moving.
Kiss her. Stroke her cheeks. Suck her nipples. Tell her how beautiful she is and keep stimulating her body and mind. Now VERY SLOWLY move yourself inside of her a bit… then stop.
Then move a little bit more and stop again. Your movements are so small that she can handle them and with each one, her sensitivity is decreasing.


Slowly and gradually start moving yourself inside of her and it won’t be long before you can start thrusting again just like you did when she came all around you the last time.
When she comes this time, it’ll be A LOT stronger and much, much more intense!
3. Simultaneous Multiples
This is the trickiest one to pull off because you not only have to use the right techniques, (the one’s that are going to get her off,) but you also have to time them both just right.
Practice the first method of multiples (different types,) and you'll start learning how to "read" her orgasm. You’ll learn what techniques work best for her and you’ll start noticing when she’s getting closer to orgasm and when it’s inevitable.
Once you’ve mastered both techniques and you know exactly what takes her to the edge and what push her over it, you’re simply going to combine the 2.
Bring her to the edge of one type and stop before she comes. Then bring her to the edge of the other and stop before she comes.


Do this a few times before you start using both techniques at the same time. As she approaches one type quicker than the other, just slow it down and let the other catch up. Once they’re equally timed, let them both go for one of the strongest, most euphoric orgasms of her life!
Worse case scenario, you’ll miss the mark, she’ll only have one type of orgasm and you’ll have to try again later.
If you're ready to be the best she's ever had, watch Nick Hardwick's Video The 67 Ways To Make Her Come. If You're a woman and want to make your man melt, watch Nick's BlowHisMind.com Video.

20 SMOKING Hot Movie GIFS That Will Basically Make You Orgasm

There are quite a few movies out there that have given us some interesting sex scenes. But before that, there were many taboos that had to be broken down. Back in 1915, there was the first sighting of full-frontal nudity in Hypocrites. In 1933, Hedy Lamarr depicted the first female orgasm on screen in a non-pornographic scene in Ecstasy.
Not too long ago, you couldn't see couples in the same bed together on television. In 1971's Carnal Knowledge, audiences finally saw the first condom on screen. And now, movies have grown so comfortable with depicting sexuality on screen that there have been many different takes on it.
These sex scenes are sometimes played for comic relief and can be pretty outlandish. We've previously acknowledged these realistic scenes that captured how awkward, exciting and loving sex can be. But the realistic part is also coming from the technology, and the lengths actors will go to give a good performance. This means some scripted movies and TV shows are starting to rival porn.


According to The Daily Mail, Game of Thrones is having this very problem: so many of their sex scenes are on Pornhub and they are pursuing legal action to take them down. But the HBO show isn't the only show or movie to be appreciated on porn websites.
So what else in entertainment is so hot you might want to get your rocks off to? Fifty Shades of Grey might come to mind, but there are so many more hot scenes.
We've gathered 20 GIFs from the hottest sex scenes in movie history. These GIFs are definitely NSFW and could make you blush. Not only do these movies have saucy moments, but they have interesting stories you should check out on your private movie night.


1. Blue is the Warmest Color
The French story is pretty erotic and has given us an amazing seven-minute love scene between Adele and Emma. Once you watch it you'll probably find it tough to find a better sex scene in a main stream movie.

2. Fifty Shades of Grey
Say what you will about the plot. But when Christian comes into Anastasia's house and takes control of things, you'll get a better understand of what all the fuss was about for this franchise.

PHOTO: FOCUS FEATURES

3. Atonement
You'll want to try to get it on in a library after seeing Robbie and Cecilia's steamy scene together.

PHOTO: FOCUS FEATURES

4. Unfaithful
The sexy thriller about a wife's affair has plenty of hot scenes, but there's nothing quite like this one to get across how sexy this movie is.

PHOTO: FOX 2000 PICTURES

5. Titanic
Titanic is a classic love story, and pretty much cemented Leonardo DiCaprio as a heart throb. The scene of Rose and Jack was so sensual and (literally) steamy!

PHOTO: PARAMOUNT PICTURES

6. Risky Business
When this movie is mentioned, everyone thinks about Tom Cruise dancing in his shirt, glasses and socks. But there's also an underrated sex scene of him and a woman on a train.

PHOTO: GEFFEN COMPANY

7. Pretty Woman
The rom-com is remembered for many iconic outfits and moments. But there was also the scene of Vivian seducing Edward on the piano. Never forget!

PHOTO: TOUCHSTONE PICTURES

8. Eyes Wide Shut
The two actors play a married couple who are pulled apart after the wife admits she almost cheated. There are some erotic scenes between Nicole Kidman and Tom Cruise that will make you understand why the two got married in real life.

PHOTO: WARNER BROS.

9. The Notebook
Noah and Allie fought often, but this one makeup scene really made everyone want them to stay together for good. It also got the world to start swooning over Ryan Gosling.

PHOTO: NEW LINE CINEMA

10. The Boy Next Door
Claire does the unthinkable by getting involved with her younger neighbor. But when you watch the sensual scenes between them, you understand why she did it.

PHOTO: UNIVERSAL PICTURES

11. Love & Basketball
The scene where Monica and Quincy play strip basketball is a perfect blend of their friendship and attraction. You also get an awesome glimpse of Omar Epps' booty.

PHOTO: 40 ACRES & A MULE FILMWORKS

12. Y Tu Mamá También
The movie tells a story of two young men falling for an older woman. It leads to multiple amazing scenes, including a sexy threesome.

PHOTO: ANHELO PRODUCCIONES

13. Wild Things
The high school mystery has Denise Richards and Neve Campbell hooking up in a swimming pool together. Need we say more?

PHOTO: MANDALAY ENTERTAINMENT

14. Secretary
Before there was Fifty Shades of Grey, there was Secretary. The kink and story is so much better between young James Spader and Maggie Gyllenhaal.

PHOTO: SLOUGH POND

15. 9 1/2 Weeks
The movie shows an affair between a man and a woman and their sex games. Of course, that means there are plenty of sexy moments throughout including blindfolds, water, and more.

16. Black Swan
When people bring up the ballet adaptation, they usually think of the scene between Mila Kunis and Natalie Portman. But if you ask us, the one of Natalie going solo is much steamier.

PHOTO: FOX SEARCHLIGHT PICTURES

17. Brokeback Mountain
The love story between two cowboys really gets going in a tent, and the aggressive scene is great to watch.

 

18. Shelter
The passion between Zach and Shaun really jumps off screen when they rip each other's clothes off. It makes you root for them to make it in the end.

PHOTO: GP PICTURES

19. Little Children
Kate Winslet makes it on the list for a second time thanks to this hot moment on a washing machine she had with Patrick Wilson. What a lucky girl!

PHOTO: NEW LINE CINEMA

20. A History of Violence
The thriller features Maria Bello dressing up as a cheerleader. What could be better?