Simply put, your gender identity is your personal experience of your own gender. While it can correlate with your assigned sex at birth, it can also differ from it completely. Now ask yourself this: How would you describe what your gender feels like? Per Reddit, men, women, and beyond share their own personal experiences with gender identity.
User “Amecha.” "It's basically the same as how cis people feel. You feel the gender you are, but because it isn't in conflict with how society's gendered you, you never feel it when it's wrong, and you never get the elation of it being right.
You know the way you feel when everything feels right? Your not hungry or thirsty and your laying somewhere comfortable and it's the perfect temperature and you just feel at peace? Imagine that versus just having fun doing an activity. Or enjoying something. They're very different feelings. For someone who is male that enjoys feminine things, they enjoy. For someone who is non binary, they feel at peace when they present and are treated based on their presentation or preferred pronouns.”
You know the way you feel when everything feels right? Your not hungry or thirsty and your laying somewhere comfortable and it's the perfect temperature and you just feel at peace? Imagine that versus just having fun doing an activity. Or enjoying something. They're very different feelings. For someone who is male that enjoys feminine things, they enjoy. For someone who is non binary, they feel at peace when they present and are treated based on their presentation or preferred pronouns.”
User “Amecha.” "So the short answer I guess would be that when someone asks you the difference you say it's a feeling. They're aren't words to explain it. The non binary person just kind of knows. And if they haven't figured it out just yet, then it's a feeling that they have that they know that their assigned gender just isn't right. It's the same as a cis male just knowing they're male. Ask the other person if they are the opposite gender, when they say no ask them to explain how they know, how it feels. Their answer to that is the answer to their question."
User “Subrosian_Smithy.” "I (MtF, for what it's worth) figured it out experimentally. I knew I didn't 'feel' like a boy or like a girl, I just felt like I was 'me'. But I had a lot of confused feelings and desires, so I basically decided to 'try it', and began presenting as female online and thinking of myself as a trans girl.
It felt so right, or at least, okay and not wrong, that I decided to just wing it and assume I was a girl. I'm still not sure of being a girl, not all the time, but I can't ever imagine going back to thinking of myself as a boy.”
It felt so right, or at least, okay and not wrong, that I decided to just wing it and assume I was a girl. I'm still not sure of being a girl, not all the time, but I can't ever imagine going back to thinking of myself as a boy.”
User “YoungFolks.” "It doesn't really feel like anything. I don't have an explicit sense of ‘manness'. I just know I don't like having a female body or being perceived female, but I do like having a male body and being perceived male.
There are things that make me feel manly/masculine, but that's like, I dunno, spending an afternoon reading recent research in psychology makes me feel nerdy, or jumping off a rope swing into a river feels adventurous."
There are things that make me feel manly/masculine, but that's like, I dunno, spending an afternoon reading recent research in psychology makes me feel nerdy, or jumping off a rope swing into a river feels adventurous."
User “wannabe_pixie.” "I think it's pretty similar to sexual orientation.
Most people with penises are attracted to women. Some people with penises are attracted to men. They know this because when they try to do the common thing, it's just wrong. Their subconscious brain lets them know it's wrong in a way that they can't ignore.
Most people with penises are men. Some people with penises are women. Then know this because when they try to do the common thing, it's just wrong. Their subconscious brain lets them know it's wrong in a way that they can't ignore.”
Most people with penises are attracted to women. Some people with penises are attracted to men. They know this because when they try to do the common thing, it's just wrong. Their subconscious brain lets them know it's wrong in a way that they can't ignore.
Most people with penises are men. Some people with penises are women. Then know this because when they try to do the common thing, it's just wrong. Their subconscious brain lets them know it's wrong in a way that they can't ignore.”
User “FraxinusJerichanus.” "I'm MtF trans, and I think the way I'd say that I feel is like finally putting an annoying puzzle together, but the result is weird and pretty scary, and you don't really wanna show anyone since you think they'll hate you for it. So you hide it for longer, but then it comes to the point where hiding it is worse than showing it off. Then I stopped giving a shit and just rolled with it full force. Now I feel like a girl who just has gone through some shit that only a small subset of people also have and can relate.”
User “octosocks.” "For me, gender identity is what's left after I strip away all the denial, fear, and bullshit societal expectations. It's my authentic self. I still haven't found it yet, but I've gotten glimpses, enough to feel confident that I am in fact transgender.”
User “1Down.” "Well I guess I can try to explain. I have body issues. The male body just feels wrong. Like I know my body belongs to me but its not my body. Its not what I should have. Body hair, genital configuration, pecs instead of breasts, all wrong. That is what majorly contributes to me being trans. Stereotypical masculine things or stereotypical feminine things like clothing and stuff like that don't really matter to me, not nearly as much as the body aspects do. If we lived in a world with a society that 100% didn't care how you presented I would still be trans.”
User “everforeverlost.” "I see myself in feminine and non-binary people, and I always have. When I meet people of similar genders, I can feel very viscerally the reality of our gender experiences, even if we look very different. Example, when several people close to me disclosed that they're trans, I understood because I was also trans and we shared experience in that way. They changed appearances dramatically afterward, however I still saw how their identity was consistent and did not put unnecessary value on the physical changes because I sympathetically understood their evolving internal experience."
User “everforeverlost.” "When people describe being cis, or being masculine, although I can empathize, on a very fundamental level I do not relate to their experience. It feels alien to me, and we do not connect on that visceral level.
I have imprinted childhood memories of unconsciously identifying with my gender's cultural norms. Even if I operate perfectly in my assigned gender role, my body will revolt and make me horribly sick against my will.
My strength is in my truth. My gender is a strength.”
I have imprinted childhood memories of unconsciously identifying with my gender's cultural norms. Even if I operate perfectly in my assigned gender role, my body will revolt and make me horribly sick against my will.
My strength is in my truth. My gender is a strength.”
User “King_Of_Regret.” "For me specifically, gender doesn't seem like a real thing. Like, I understand femininity and masculinity, but I don't understand how a person can be a man, or a woman. I've never felt gender I guess, at all really. I was born male, and I suppose I still am due to the way I present and my general interests, but I don't really feel like a man, nor do I feel like a woman. I've done drag, I paint my nails for fun sometimes, but I've also welded a sculpture, I've re-roofed a house. I just do things that sound fun, not because it's part of my gender role or because society says so. So I guess under strict definition, I'm agender. But I really don't like a bunch of labels. Anyway. Gender to me feels entirely foreign and I've never understood it, even abstractly.”
User “ErisC.” "It's very hard to put into words... Basically, since I was a little kid I basically considered myself a girl, or at least part-girl (and even told some of my friends this), and I hoped that I would develop like the other girls come puberty. When other stuff began happening I became distraught but hid it because the few times I expressed my feelings I was told by my mom that my dad wouldn't want to hear about it, etc…”
User “ErisC.” "It's very hard to put into words... Basically, since I was a little kid I basically considered myself a girl, or at least part-girl (and even told some of my friends this), and I hoped that I would develop like the other girls come puberty. When other stuff began happening I became distraught but hid it because the few times I expressed my feelings I was told by my mom that my dad wouldn't want to hear about it, etc…”
User “snarky-.” "I don't feel an innate 'sense' any more than have an innate sense of Britishness or whiteness. What I do have, however, is an inability to live as female due to the distress, and that I am able to live perceived as male and with male physical characteristics without wanting to kill myself.”
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