Vibrator. “Trying to make him have more sex with you probably won’t work,” Alicia, 27, advises. “What I found to be helpful was investing in a good vibrator — I got to the point where I was going up the wall with sexual frustration, and a lot of it was alleviated by a solid solo session every once in a while.”
Compromise. Alex, 24, tells us that compromising really worked for her and her boyfriend of two years. “We compromised on frequency and it helped a lot. Whether it’s once a week or once every two weeks, setting down the basic logistics of how much you need sexual intimacy is definitely important."
Patience. Ben, 31, tells us that what helped his relationship in the bedroom department was working on his patience. “I knew my girlfriend found me attractive and enjoyed having sex with me, so I just worked on being patient. I let her come to me — and suddenly, we were having sex more than ever. Let them initiate things every once in a while and you might be pleasantly surprised.”
Schedule. Meredith, 34, says that scheduling the deed on specific dates/days really helped her relationship. “What helped me and my guy was scheduling sex when he was most likely to be in the mood. For him, it was on the weekend, so we planned it for every Saturday afternoon. It might sound unsexy, but it really takes the pressure off from having to initiate it and/or be rejected time and time again.”
Schedule. Adding on the the previous tip, Allie, 25, says: “Make sure you don’t ask for or initiate it on other days. Seriously, this is super important!"
Communication. “If sex is important to you, you should probably communicate that to the person who you’re spending your life with,” Bryan, 27, warns, adding, “Just like the saying, 'It can always get worse,’ it can also get better. It did for me!”
Less clothing. “Obviously this won’t work for everyone, but me and my boyfriend wear less clothing around the apartment,” Shannon, 25, says. “It’s harder for both of us keep our hands off each other this way.”
Acceptance. Dan, 29, tells us that though some might see him as a doormat, he’s accepted his lackluster sex life for now because other things about the relationships are so great. "I almost never initiate anymore and just let her because I don't like being rejected,” he tells us. "I just put myself in a position where she can initiate.”
Affection. Eric, 33, tells us that while he handles him and his partner’s in a couple ways (i.e. masturbating), he also showers her with affection. “For me, it’s a good distraction and I still get to focus on her. When she does want it, I focus on the little things and make sure she enjoys herself.”
When and what. A user on Reddit who goes by the name “dogandcatinlove” revealed her hot tip for couples with unmatched sex drives. "One partner gets horny. They get to pick either 'when' something will happen (now, 15 minutes, 6pm tonight) or 'what' will happen (sex, oral). The other partner picks whatever the previous one didn't pick. Or the non-horny partner can pick first."
Masturbate in bed. Danny, 27, tells us that he tells his girlfriend that he’s going to masturbate in bed with her if he’s horny and she’s not in the mood. "I'd say one-third of the time I do this she will get turned on by me doing it and decide to join in, one-third she will at least rub on me during or tell me to finish on her, and the other one-third she says have fun and goes to sleep."
Don’t force it. “We’ve learned to let it happen naturally, rather than force it,” Stan, 27, tells us. “Obligated sex is just lame, so we try to get in the mood at least once a week by cooking, watching X-rated flicks together or watching a scary movie — but if it doesn’t happen, we don’t stress it.”
Don’t make it about sex. “We figured out compromises like oral and other forms of foreplay,” Eileen, 30, tells us of her relationship with her partner of three years. “Sex doesn’t have to be the be-all and end-all. As long as you both bring enthusiasm to that and you both actually care about each other's pleasure, you will feel somewhat desired and not breed so much resentment.”
Avoid the sex talk. Reddit user “DobbythehouseEiff” shared, “My guy didn't like sex talks as he associated them with pressure to please me. If your bf is the same, stop all sex talks as well. After your scheduled sexy-times you can ask him if he enjoyed it/what you could do better/different next time. Just keep it short and about his pleasure (for now, he needs to feel pleasure again. Your pleasure will come later, be patient!)"
Wait. Reddit user “Tauchfischtaebchen” says: “Give him the chance to come to you sometimes, to be the one asking sometimes. And that means waiting for him to ‘accumulate’ enough sexual desire. Trust me, it works.”
No comments:
Post a Comment