New baby. Congratulations! You had a baby! But since the birth you've been experiencing an uncharacteristically low sex drive. Don't freak out just yet. First of all, you just had a baby. Your focus is naturally going to be all on the new baby for a little while, so your libido might not be as active.
Exhaustion. You're probably getting less sleep with a newborn around and this doesn't help matters. If you're over-exhausted, chances are you're not going to be in the mood to do the deed very often.
Understanding. Make sure your partner is understanding about everything you're going through right now. Things may be difficult on his end, too, but you both need each other's support right now and he just has to understand that.
Resentment. If one of you is taking more care of the new baby than the other, there may be some resentment building up. A healthy sexual relationship can't thrive in that kind of an environment. Make sure you talk about the dynamics of your new relationship.
Effort. If a good amount of time has passed and you feel like your sex drive still hasn't improved, you should start making some changes. Go on a date night and get a baby sitter for the evening. Get some sexy lingerie. Put in some effort to revamp your sex life.
Your body is different. Your body probably looks and feels different to you than it did before the pregnancy and birth. You may not feel sexy at this current moment in your life, and if you don't feel sexy, you won't feel the desire for sex.
Awkward. Once you have a baby, the thought of being a sexual being can suddenly seem a little weird and awkward. You're a mother now. You have a new role and you might be having trouble negotiating between your role as mom and your role as lover.
Breastfeeding. If you're breastfeeding, this could also be taking away from your sex drive. Breastfeeding apparently takes away some of your body's store of estrogen. If you're lacking in estrogen, you might feel a bit dry or uncomfortable downstairs. That certainly won't put you in the mood.
Feel sexy. Make yourself feel sexy! It's probably been a while since you put on a cute dress or did your hair and makeup really nicely. Dressing up and making yourself feel pretty can make you feel in the mood.
Postpartum. It's natural for mothers to experience a sense of depression, or postpartum blues, after they give birth. Your hormones are out of whack and they take time to get back in order. Depression often causes a decrease in sexual appetite.
Break the routine. As parents, it's very easy to fall into a routine, because that's basically part of the job description. However, falling into too much of a routine in your relationship is never good. Make sure you remind yourselves to do something different every once in a while.
Give yourself some time. If this is all still new, give yourself some time to adjust to all the changes. A lot is going on in your life mentally and physically. You won't be comfortable with it all overnight. Be patient.
Doctor. If months and months go by and you've put in your effort and you still see no improvement, visit your doctor or OBGYN. They might be able to talk you through it or provide you with tips or medication that might help.
Don't put pressure on it. When you put too much pressure on having sex, it tends to only make matters worse. Even though one or both of you might be getting frustrated and impatient, take a minute to step back and calm yourself down and realize that by removing pressure you'll probably help the situation.
Finding your groove. Eventually, you'll settle into a new pattern. It may not be like it was before you had the baby, but you'll have a sexual life that will work for you. Your life is different now. Your relationship is different now. You have two accept and be open to the fact that things change, and that's OK.
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