If you’re not orgasming during sex every time you have it, there’s nothing to be ashamed of. It isn’t a national emergency. Cosmo ran a survey back in 2015 that reported somewhere around 57 percent of women can orgasm during sex. Men, however, sit at around 95 percent. Now how is that fair? There is strength in numbers, and learning what other women do can help you. So explore the habits of women who climax every time.
They practice self-love. Fran Walfish, Psy.D., is a panelist on the WE TV series, Sex Box. She told Women’s Health, “Women who masturbate on a regular basis have become experts on their own bodies and know where the best ‘feel good’ spots are."
Know what they like. Because these women are masturbating often, they have a better knowledge of what works and what doesn’t. “They know how much pressure, tempo, speed, lightness, and every single nuance of touch, direct or indirect, on their clitorises they need in order to orgasm,” says Walfish.
Communication. Jane Greer, Ph.D., is a New York-based marriage sex therapist and author of the book, "What About Me? Stop Selfishness From Ruining Your Relationship." She says that when you know what arouses you, it’s easier for your partner to enhance it. But you must communicate what it is that you like, or they’ll never know.
Pay attention to the clitoris. It’s quite simple. The possibilities are quite endless because your partner can stimulate your clitoris with their hand, their body, a vibrator — anything! Trust us, the payoff is huge.
You can’t bake a cake without flour. So don’t attempt sex without a decent amount of foreplay, it’s crucial to the end product! Greer emphasizes the importance of foreplay, “It’s what helps you build up excitement and momentum during the sexual experience, allowing you to get turned on enough so you can orgasm.”
Orgasm isn’t the goal! You shouldn’t enter into every sexual encounter with the goal of orgasming. Don’t even think about it! Let it just happen naturally. “If you want to orgasm every time, stop looking for it or expecting it to happen every time,” says Greer.
Help? Walfish says, “Relaxation techniques and regular exercise are great strategies for managing and reducing stress, which can interfere with a woman’s ability to let go and enjoy orgasms during sex.” Take a minute to assess, do you have a lot of stress in your life? Maybe it’s stopping you from fully enjoying sex.
Edging. Bustle suggest edging as a technique to help you understand your body and bring you into a deeper connection with yourself. “Edging is the technique in which you bring yourself close to an orgasm, then stop,” Reports Bustle. Why? “In edging over and over — bringing yourself close, then letting go — you’re guaranteeing a bigger orgasm, because your body literally bursts with pleasure when it’s finally allowed to release.”
Hinting. We didn’t know what hinting was either, but it apparently could be the secret to your next orgasm. “Hinting is another form of teasing that about 70 percent of women report that they practice,” according to Bustle, “In hinting, the clit and the vaginal opening are given some attention, but not a lot, as stimulation is avoided until later on during masturbation or sex. Again, it leads to stronger orgasms."Consistency vs. Surprise. Doing the same thing the same way every time can help you to reach orgasm. Why fix what’s not broken, right? But, at the same time, trying new things can expose you to techniques you never knew existed, and never knew made you feel good. It’s all about finding what works and running with it. Do what makes you feel comfortable.
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